Sunday, February 15, 2009

I totally agree, home is where the heart is. The thing heart is with Emily.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I've got change to spare

Recently I have had two big changes in my life. Now the actual physical part of these changes happened awhile ago but the realizations and the life altering moments did not happen til fairly recently.

1. It has been almost two years since I moved to Maryville Missouri and started working at the Missouri Academy. I orignally started working here because I needed to get out of a horrible working situation I was at before and this job was in my desired career. It also kept me well financially. I didn't really expect much out of a job accept a foundation for advancement and the ability to be financially secure. I also was not excited to move to Missouri at all.

Who would've thought that I would love my job and actually begin to really like where I live. Everyday I wake up in disbelief of how fortunate I am. My students are so great. I have had some great ministry opportunities here, and this area had really grown on me. Kansas City is awsome, and Maryville is a great little town that makes me feel right at home. I never thought i would feel at home anywhere anytime soon after Vanguard but working at this academy, my staff has been great friends and my apartment has truly become home to me.

2. When I was younger, I was a very independent person. I was able to take care of myself really easily. I was taught to not depend on anybody but yourself and God. I never stayed in relationships because I wasn't too interested in being attached. I liked freedom and I thought freedom was found so much easier when it is searched for alone. Even when I started dating Emily, we both dated each other without expectations of a long term relationship. However, we both came to a conclusion that we were meant to be with each other. Our relationship continued and our love for each other grew stronger as time went.

Last year I propsed to her. I knew she was the one I would marry. During this time I began to realize that she is the biggest part of my life. The more we do counseling, the more I learn how much of my life should be devoted to her. She has also become the woman of God that I want to devote my life to. Recently though, I have gone through the most radical transformation. I refer you back to the beginning of this section which is labled 2. From being a person who lived completely independent and as an island I am now someone who can barely stand being away from Emily. It has only been two days since I last saw her and already my heart aches to be with her. My apartment which used to a litte small to me now seems so large and empty because my future wife is not here to live with me yet. I don't long for the days of independence because with her I still have freedom, if not more, that go along with this relationship. I am still free to be myself. I am still free to experience life how I want. I am still free to be with the people I want. The only difference is that I know am free to share all this and the rest of my life with the most wonderful woman of God ever. There are a lot more things and analogies I can use to go on, but I am tired and off to my comfy bed. God is so good and faithful. Times still get tough but He is always there. I mean, how can I not trust Him when He has so evidently shown Himself in the past.